day 1 (aka february 27th 25)
today in the bath i read a substack article about how to think about your hobbies in a non-performative way. i realized i have never had a secret with myself. i share everything (pretty much actually everything), unless told to keep it secret (which i am good at, unless drunk). even writing this, a project specifically meant to be something for me and me alone, i want to tell tori or alyssa or a m*n to make me seem even more cool and mysterious (which will immediately ruin the coolness and mystery). also i guess i use parentheses a lot? not great. anyway, i've also been thinking about how i don't like writing, although i learn the best from writing, such as from my pretty neuroscience notes in college or even writing my f31 research strategy. a quote from a book i've started reading, and hope to continue reading with some lab friends, Writing Science by Josh Schimel, or rather a quote he is quoting:
"I ask, finally, that you avoid one error of belief that is monstrously prevalent. This is the widespread notion that “to write clearly, you must first think clearly.” This sharp little maxim may appear logical, but it is really rubbish. No matter how rational your thought may be (or appear to be) on a particular problem, no matter how detailed your intentions and plottings, the act of writing will almost always prove rebellious, full of unforeseen difficulties, sidetracks, blind alleys, revelations. Good, clear writing—writing that teaches and informs without confusion—emerges from a process of struggle, or if you prefer, litigation.
Most often, the terms of the formula given above need to be reversed: “clear thinking can emerge from clear writing.” Imposing order by organizing and expressing ideas has great power to clarify. In many cases, writing is the process through which scientists come to understand the real form and implications of their work."
Scott Montgomery. The Chicago Guide to Communicating Science
as someone prone to try re-inventing myself at least biannually, a website seems like a fun place to experiment. i want to know what it's like to engage with my life more critically and actively, to observe myself, to learn about myself, and to attempt to keep something to myself for once. so, if you're here, this is our secret now!